Words I Wrote When I Have No Control Towards Myself

enough of the down times,

let's strengthen up,

shall we?

love

i've known love for all my life in a form of you,
love introduces itself by your name,
it's smile curves as broad as your smile,
it's eyebrows are as thick as yours,
and oh the way it angers too

i learn to speak the name of love in a form of your gaze,
love calls me by my name,
as soothing as the winter wind blows,
and as frightening as the nightmare would go,
oh it's getting chilly on my spines,
Lord, tell me, is this the meant to be or just lesson to learn?

but love has to leave early,
love has somewhere to go,
love needs to change,
so it disappears

eventually love will come again knocking around the healed cuttings,
maybe in a form of your curls,
or maybe in a form of your breath,
or maybe love transforms to another form

maybe love will come in the form of the way a leaf dries,
or maybe it will pop out of a hot sauna spa,
or maybe it lost, still finding it's way on a map,
or maybe...love won't come again at all.

05/01/2020

01.30 a.m.

Perseverance

Malu

konyol mengingat bahwa aku terlalu manja menghadapi cobaan yang Tuhan amanahkan untukku.

malu rasanya mengingat betapa banyak rejeki yang Tuhan beri, tapi tetap saja aku merengut, meratap, menangis seakan seluruh kesedihan dunia ada pada pundakku.

Tuhan, aku malu.

rejeki-Mu yang berlimpah saja luput dari pandanganku,

malah aku menuntut yang bahkan belum tentu baik untukku.

Tuhan, maafkan aku.

Teka-Teki

semalam kamu datang dalam mimpi,
ditanyalah aku kenapa lekas pergi,
ditanyalah ia pada bagian mana yang belum dimengerti?

—pagi, siang, sore, malam hari aku pahami, coba amati.


dmv. 17/01/19

Waktu

ada banyak rahasia Bumi yang masih kabut dan kabur

pada waktu siang aku merasa,

pada waktu malam aku menangis

segala pikiran yang pernah terlintas tak jua membuatku puas

mungkin masih butuh waktu untuk memahami rencana Tuhan

—someday, someday.

dmv // 280119

COOK WITH ME: Salmon Mozarella

On January 2nd 2019, as there is the euphoria of all the whole "new year" things, I continued to pursue my sudden interest on cooking.

This time I made use of things that was already been in the refrigerator. As I search for an idea, I come up with the idea of making another western cuisine which was: salmon mozzarella, mashed potato, and simple salad. The ingredients and the processes were not hard at all as I search for the recipe in Cookpad but also did some improvisation (because I like being creative hahaha). Here's the result of the so-called productive holiday by my sudden interest on cooking:

I really enjoy the process, because although its tiring (since I'm doing it alone and I never really spent long time in the kitchen), it actually fun to improvise the recipe and spent times thinking while doing the cooking. And of course, as an another self appreciation (and also because its true), this cuisine is so yummy I didn't expect it to be.

Later, my friends came to my home and tried the mashed potato and salad and they like it, so I packed the food for them (because I made both in a quite big amount) so they can bring it home. Then I realised, its actually satisfying for people to eat and enjoy the food you make. Which gives me another motivation to maintain this sudden interest of mine.